Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
