To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
