When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
