girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
