I smell stomach acid.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize