Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
