Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
