but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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