If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You're like the curious george of whores
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize