Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
