Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
