We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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