Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
