you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize