Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
