Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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