idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
