his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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