but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
