dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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