don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
