OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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