Three words: puerto rican gang bang
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
honey bunches of taint.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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