Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
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