i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
