i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
