CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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