is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
COCAINE IS GR8
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
