i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My ass is underappreciated
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
