She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
