we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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