I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
