Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
So. Much. Porn.
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