Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
