I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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