How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If its not for food we ain't going out.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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