woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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