How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
