Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
