yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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