I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
