she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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