Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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