didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This house was built for laser tag.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
