she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
