FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
