Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize