I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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