a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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