do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my poor anus
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
