You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
