new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
