so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Floor bacon is actually really good
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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