i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize