You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
