worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
