It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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