She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize