other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
