Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
