I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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