Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
