If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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