but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize