I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
