I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
