OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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