i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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