I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
