If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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