We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
