My room smells like vodka and shame
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
