and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
