I just cut my nipple shaving
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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