Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
