the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
