doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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