I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i think i have two assholes
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
how does that bad decision feel?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
