TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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