Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
