marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
