I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
