my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
