that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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